AMAZING BBQ PARTY THIS WEEK~!~

Days 9, 10 and 11

The diet has been going well, almost 10lbs lost now and my energy level is great! I am still not hungry and finding more and more enjoyment in the foods that I am allowed. I have skipped several days of hcg diet blogging because I have been useful with all this new energy and weight loss, went and had my hair done, went shoe shopping... went to a bbq. YES, we went to a bbq the other night and there was t-bone and pasta salad and potatoe salad and homeade angel food cake with whipped cream and strawberries. BEAUTIFUL dinner, we didn't eat and we were fine about it. It looked and smelled fabulous and even though we wished we could eat it we did not and we didn't have a hard time with it either.

Today we are having 350 g. of cabbage and 3.5 oz of shrimp with a strawberry smoothy for lunch, it is only 211 calories... we will need to beef up for dinner- we try and to 250 cal. per meal.

Day 6,7 & 8

I have to apoligize for skipping a couple of blogging days.
Day 6 was brutal for me, I was angry because I hadn't lost any weight and blamed my boyfreind for not calculating my calories correctly, he calculated 400 calories for my previous day rather than 500 calories and it caused me not to lose any weight. I was ugly and fat and angry and picked a huge fight with him.
It wasn't his fault, it was mine.. I need to be responsible for my own "stuff" and stop making excuses or blaming others.
Day 7 was much better, I did lose another 3 lbs and was delighted for this. The doc visit went well however we were not measured, we get measured our 3rd week not every week.
Day 8, today... I didn't lose any weight again, I did kind of cheat, I had my hair done and had a beautiful scalp massage from a fabulous hair dresser. Of course we aren't suppose to use cream rinse or conditioner unless we rinse it out IMMEDIATELY, he massaged it in and guess what? it was enough to cause me not to lose any weight. BUT, my hair looks fabulous!
I did remember to take a picture of our lunch and hopefully will remember dinner and every other meal beyond, the meals are good and the quanity isn't bad being that it is only 250 calories per meal.

3.5 oz of very very lean meat with any visible fat removed, 120 grams of spinach and 1 medium apple.

total: 253 calories

Shouting out to my hair dresser Carlos, owner of Total Hair Experience

1900 E University Dr Ste 24

Mesa, Arizona

85203

480-827-0602

Day 5

Today was supposed to be euphoric. I don't know if I would call it euphoric, however I felt really good, with a lot of energy, woke up 3 lbs lighter than yesterday and also notices that my clothes were fitting me differently. Looking at my boyfriend, can see how his body is changing too.

We shopped at a farmers market and bought some red and white cabbage, freezedried onion and oregano for seasoning (which is allowed) apples, cucumbers and strawberries.

The afternoons seem to be harder...  with cravings or wanting to munch however not too bad, not bad enought to get us to cheat...and again I did NOT take photo's of our meals!!! but, I had chicken and lettuce and for a treat we had a strawberry smoothie.
Writing it out, it sounds quite boring but it was fabulous. I put pepper and onion powder on my lettuce and squeezed lemon over it, the chicken I ate cold and the smoothie was just ice, 10 strawberries and stevia and I loved loved loved it! Mike had sea bass and slightly steamed cabbage with lemon and seasoning. I think both of us agree that the smoothie was quite a treat and that we needed it!

Emotions are coming up.. eating has been an armour and when you take away the food.. then what surfaces can be quite emotional. Letting go of the crutch and facing the emotion is hard to do but with a co-dieter it makes it easy. We have this extra weight for a reason and we kind of knew that it would bring up "issues" when we started to lose the weight or "deprive" ourself from the lovely comfort of food.

Lunch- we had shrimp with poultry seasoning and asparagus... for snack or desert we had sliced our apples and dipped them in cinamon and stevia and it was super good too! We came up with the idea to bake our apples with cinamon and stevia for a warm desert sometime in the future.

We are learning to be more creative with our food and this is really fun!
We are full after our meals and feel somewhat satisfied.. I could always eat more... I have the bad habit of eating until I am uncomfortably full.

Tomorrow we go in and see our Natrapath and she will measure us and weigh us and she also goes over our diets that we have been logging. I am excited to see the inch difference! She will also check our BMI and other stuff.

I wouldn't suggest doing this diet without a physicians help, I know that you can buy the drops or the shots on line and I also know that it can be dangerous.. not only do you not know what you are actually getting and what about the refrigeration?  You need to keep them cold.... but also... if you do not know if you have a prolactin issue or a thyroid issue or a diabetic issue then you may actually cause some great harm to yourself by taking hcg hormone.

We go to Naturally Nurturing in Gilbert, They are concerned about you health and not thier pocket book.. You call the doctor by her first name and it is a real comfortable clean office. There is a lovely herbalist on site, a chiropractor and hypnotherapist that are there several days a week.

Day 4

So, again... not hungry. However I do have cravings for something salty and crunchy. Didn't have breakfast but for lunch had chicken breast again and beet greens from my garden and finished with an apple. It was a real treat to know that I can have sparkling water and stevia, I bought root beer stevia and put it in my sparkling water and it was wonderful!

I am actually full. My boyfreind however is hungry and having lots of cravings.  . I think it is a habit of munching that he has but he calls it cravings so I am not sure which it really is. He also feels a loss in energy but is dealing with it quite well.

I peed 10 times yesterday in my four hour shift and only 3 times today, I was very glad that I am not peeing as frequently.

I did lose 6 lbs! I had gained 6 lbs over that weekend so I am where I started but it is still a happy loss since I was so worried about eating all that junk!

Sorry, I keep forgetting to take photos, I will add some tonight if I can just remember.

Day 3

Pleasantly surprised how easy the day is thus far. We woke about 7am and I did inject myself with my 3rd shot of HCG hormone. I injected it into my belly fat and didn't even flinch, absolutely painless.

The HCG hormone is given to us in syringes, we get a supply of them and take them home, we put them in the refrigerator and take them out about 10-15 minutes before using them. I hold my shot in my hand until it warms up to body temp and then inject it, Carefully and responsibly depositing the used syringe and needle in a sharps container and that is it.

I weighed myself and was concerned that I didn't gain enough weight, the 10lbs that I put on in the last two days was now only 6lbs and I know how crucial it is to put on weight the first two days but I just have to move forward from here.

I took two bottles of water to work and drank them for my four hour shift and consequently did use the toilet a total of tens time before my shift was over.

Came home and pulled out the 3.5 oz of pre portioned chicken breast that we had prepared the night before and a bag of spinach. So the chicken had to be weighed out before cooking and the spinach too. We decided to eat our spinach raw and since we need to eat a total of 500 calories for the day we decided to eat 250 at lunch which meant 8 cups of uncooked spinach, 1 medium apple and the 3.5 oz of chicken which totaled 246 calories. I haven't finished my meal and it has been an hour. I am still munching on the apple and the spinach and having to eat more than I feel that I need but again, I am told that it is important to eat the amount of calories that is required.

Today at work, I didn't feel hungry. Maybe it was all the water. Doesn't matter, I am not suffering a slow starvation death that I thought that I would. I did however crave texture and taste and found myself eyeing a co workers chocolate Easter egg lolly. I even picked it up and smelled it but wasn't even tempted really.

For Dinner I am going to pretty much have the same thing as lunch, I may cook the spinach... or trade them out for beet greens (which is allowed), I was pulling the fresh organic parsnips and beets from the garden, looking at the arrugula and parsley and wondering if a taste would hurt. I love eating from my garden but tonight, I will not. The beets I will give to my daughter and the beet greens perhaps I will eat. As far as the arrugula, parsley and parsnips... I will have to do without.

Day 2

It's loading day number two and I wake feeling lethargic and bloated. I weigh myself and see that I have gained 8 lbs from the way that I ate yesterday and it is a scary scary feeling. I keep reminding myself that this is important to eat this way.

My eyes are swollen, my B.O. is strong and toxic smelling and I am afraid to look in the mirror at myself. Afraid that I am really doing something wrong by eating this way and gaining these lb's and that I will never lose them. The fear is overwhelming however I am not feeling emotional like I was yesterday.









We gave each other our shots of the HCG hormone... again pretty painless. I am not sure if I could give myself a shot, I will try tomorrow.


We are on our way to Costco to buy our food for the week. Then we are going to portion it out and precook some of it. We are going to stop for some big awful greasy, carb loaded breakfast in between somewhere though, and eat eat eat ourselves to what feels like the death of us. I don't think it will be enjoyable.

We decided to make it easy on us and we ordered several Costco polish sausages and two slices of pizza which actually equals 4 slices.

I snapped at Mike, I think I am becoming a monster. I am fat and eat like a fat person and I am angry and mean... Eating like this is ugly and it makes me ugly and I teared up while apologizing for being so mean to him. He is a wonderful boyfriend and tried to encourage me, letting me know that this would be over and I will feel less and less self loathing as the weight drops off.

I told him that I am an emotional eater, that I am overweight for a reason, that when I lose the weight there will be a whole other side of me that emerges, that I will have to deal (and so will he) with the fears and the emotions of being thinner... I eat for a reason and I am fat for a reason and when I lose this protective blubber then will emerge another monster... he loves me, I am lucky... he is a good man and is very supportive which brings me to this...

Having support is crucial, having a co-dieter is a necessity and I would encourage that you don't take this on alone.

We bought wild white fish, shrimp and chicken breast tenders, loads of spinach and some asparagus for tomorrow, our five hundred calorie days..

But for today we ate our pizza, drank our soda and went home and had a polish sausage and a half. How do I feel? I feel gross! Later today we are going to a family gathering for a spring equinox party... homemade beer and a delightful dinner and sweets. Pics to follow!

I will include our diet and the instructions to the diet on the following days.

Day 1

It is loading day number one, we are to load up on fat and calories before we drop to 500 calories a day on days 3-26.

We have injected our HCG hormone this morning which was quite easy. The needle is so small and the amount of hormone to be injected is minimal.

We weighed ourselves and set out to commit fat and calorie suicide.

Breakfast: I bought two dozen Krispy Cream donuts, my teenagers were ecstatic. I have never walked into a Krispy Cream restaurant before, never bought Krispy Cream donuts before. I have eaten them, just not ever bought them.) This isn't how I normally eat. (I have an Organic Garden in my back yard for goodness sake and I eat vegetables!, This was SO wrong for me and I was looking so forward to being able to eat all this junk guilt free but now it was "D" day and it wasn't as easy as I thought.

I ate my first donut in the car, it was cream filled and delicious. I ate my second donut in the car on my way to a drive through burrito joint. It wasn't as delicious as the first donut but still quite yummy.

I ordered for myself, a large carne asada burrito and a large (32 oz) Horchata. Went home with the girls and we sat outside next to the organic beets and turnips and medicinal flower garden eating and drinking our self into oblivion. I could barely finish my burrito but, of course, I did. I couldn't have anymore of anything... no more donuts, no more horchata, no more anything and I went to the sofa and sat in misery watching a teenage movie with my girls. They... felt fine, the took a few bites of their burritos and stopped, I did not.

sitting in that self loathing lump misery, actually laying because my belly was wondering what in the world was I doing to myself... and I needed to stretch out in order to breath, I thought to myself.... this isn't so exciting, all this eating until it hurts, especially eating the foods that would quite possibly be the death of me.

My boyfriend calls on his way home from work and reminds me that we have a lunch date, we planned to go to our local pizza joint and order pizza and wings for lunch.

OMG! okay, and as I sit up from my laying down, I actually burped up a little bit of burrito, onion I think. I know what you are thinking, I could have spared that little bit of information but I have to keep this as real as possible.

Yes, I went to the Pizza Joint and met my boyfriend. Here is an exurb from my experience (from my practice journal)...

I started crying in line. I just couldn't eat anymore. This was so emotionally upsetting and wrong, and gross and please, when I sat up from the couch to get up and go meet him for pizza, I burped and up came up some burrito.

The barros cashier asked if she could help us, with a tear or two in my eye I order meat lovers pizza, she asked

"what size"..

my boyfriend said "large" and I said "nope, better make that an extra large".

Anything else she asked,

"yup, add some wings" I said. "12?" She piped and I said "no… 24, add a beer and two large soda’s please". Walked to the bathroom, avoided the mirror and wiped my tears…

What the hell am I doing? This is awful, this is dangerous… is this diet some kind of joke? Am I on some reality show? Wheres Ashton kutcher? I'm killing myself here and tonight we have plans to eat cheesecake and chocolate fudge sundaes.

Seriously NOT fun, I thought this would be fun… my boyfriend consumed 4 or 5 wings, and two or three slices of pizza and was smiling all the while I was holding back brunch from coming up with the wings that I was forcing down my throat and wiping a tear every now and then. All I could do was think how this must be some kind of joke, where is the joy in this? I love these food and refrain from eating them because of how unhealthy that they are yet now I am allowed to eat them and am emotionally a wreck about it?

I wasn’t told of the psychological affect this would have on me. I am full, my belly feels tight, I couldn’t even eat one slice of pizza.. only 3 wings, a couple drinks of my beer and about a half of a soda.

I came home and sucked the cream out of one of our donuts though, and when I was done with that… ate the donut. Can someone please tell me what that is about?

I don’t think that I can look in the mirror today at all. I am ashamed.

I have struggled with my weight for many many years. I have gone on a few diets but not a lot of them but my eating habits did get better over the last few years. Even though I eat quite healthy I still manage to eat too much and have a very sedentary life style.

Weight runs in my family, be it emotional eating, self indulging or plain out of control... doesn't matter, we all struggle with weight and I am at an age where I just can't deal with it anymore. It hurts, it is causing emotional havoc and quite well, may be killing me. My cholesterol has been an issue too but what is the worst is the physical and the emotional pain that this weight causes.

So, my boyfriend and I started this diet. The HCG diet, where you inject yourself with a tiny amount of the HCG hormone stuff yourself for two straight days and then eat certain foods for several weeks that equal no more than 500 calories a day.

They say that I won't be hungry. They say that I WON'T be hungry... oh boy, hmmmmm. Well, I am supposed to be pulling the other 2000 calories that I am not eating from storage that I normally don't pull from, that I can safely lose up to two lbs a day safely.

It is now 10:32, we gently rolled ourselves out of our car and gingerly walked into the house. We just got done eating Sushi at one of our favorite sushi spots, Sushi Kee. We had green salad, miso soup, hot tea, the seared tuna, snow white yellow tail, and then a spicy roll named after Red Mountain with shrimp, and two other fish smothered in a spicy sauce and poured over a roll that was fried. We couldn't eat it all but we did come close. We decided that the icecream and cheese cake could be eaten tomorrow.

I think I am in hell.