day 38 dinner

Total Calories for Dinner is 151. YES, I said 151 calories for dinner... and I am full!

And it was delicious!

I do not use mayonaise with my tuna fish because it is "white death" as my eldest brother says. It is unhealthy and fattening! Instead I use balsamic vinegar and fresh garlic, and sometimes a little olive oil.

INGREDIENTS & DIRECTIONS

15 oz of strained tuna-468 calories

4TBS Balsamic Vinegar-20 calories

2 Celery Stalks chopped-25 calories

1 Large Clove garlic chopped very small-calories unknown

1/4 Small Onion-15 calories

1/2 Small apple chopped small-40 calories

1 TBS Extra virgin olive oil-35 calories

15 calories added for seasoning

I took all these ingredients and mixed well adding salt,pepper and seasoning to taste.

After mixed well I decided to add a small handful of parsley from the garden and didn't count those calories but I am sure it was minimal, it helps with the garlic and onion breath  ;).

I then cut 4 big beautifully colored red bell peppers and cleaned them out and stuffed them with the mixture.

that is it.

ONE full bell pepper with tuna stuffing came to 151 calories. The whole amount, 4 stuffed peppers comes to 607 calories.

I was totally satisfied due to the fact that I had a snack of 1 inch square of bri and 1 oz of almonds and two hot wings skin removed.

But just think, it is almost 9 pm and I am supposed to eat 1500 calories a day and I am only at 1156, and that is because I had two TBS of all natural peanut butter after dinner just to bring my calories up closer to 1500.

It is really really easy to be satisfied with 1500 calories a day, as long as you don't eat processed foods full of carbs.

Day 38 Lunch...

Diet going well, I have maintained my weight and it isn't hard at all. I haven't been hungry  because I have enough food to eat but have had some cravings... I also accidentally had something that i wasn't supposed to which kept me frightened until my weigh in the next morning. I am allowed to have diet soda and while in a class for my HypnoBirthing (R) which was held at a hotel in Scottsdale I reached for an ice cold can of sprite, drank it down and then realized what I had done! I had diet soda all weekend and by the 3rd day of all day class I decided that I wanted something different, sprite sounded so refreshing and down it went in about 2 minutes.. the can was 140 calories and I just added that to my calorie intake for the day.

Today I had white fish and salsa on a bed of lettuce from my garden, mixed with cabbage, bell pepper, parsley, fresh garlic, balsamic vinegar and juice of a lemon. It wasn't the best meal that I have created but it was okay and good enough to eat the whole thing. I had been wanting a taco salad but had to settle for this. I used the cabbage for the crunch that I would miss from going without tortilla chips.

274 Calories

This was 5oz of white fish
Two tablespoons of salsa
340 grams of a mix of greens and cabbage
1/4 bell pepper
hand full of parsley
juice of 1/4 of lemon
2 tbs of Balsamic Vinegar
and season to taste
You can add a TB or two of plain yogurt for sour cream, I just forgot.
You can add Avocado, I didn't because we were out.
If you add the 1/2 of an avocado and 2 TBS of Yogurt the total is 430 Calories. This is a lot of food once you mix it all together you may not think that you can finish it. The protein from the fish and the avocado will help sustain your appetite for several hours, we try and eat every 2 to 3 hours, this will keep us full that we won't even be hungry for our next snack. We usually have 1 oz of almonds and an apple or banana for a snack.

If you have never substituted plain yogurt for sour cream, I suggest you try. The calories are a lot less and when mixed in a taco salad or on a taco or baked potato... you can't even tell the difference. I have put some out on the table in a decorative glass container and served it to guests.. they assumed it was sour cream and kept going back for more... some of these guests were my own teens and their friends. It isn't easy passing one over on a teen!

Day 35

So today we were running around so much and couldn't be at the house for dinner time. It was 7:00pm and we usually eat between 5:30 and 7:00 depending on our work schedule. We still had a few stops to make and decided that we would have to eat out. We have been craving sushi so headed towards the Blue Wasabi restaurant. We had some Miso soup and  Sashimi It was beautiful!

We went shopping, we needed some new clothes due to our weight loss, mind you we haven't bought anything since our 25 lb loss. Mike was very excited to have lost a whole pant size, I had bought some jewelry.... before they never fit on my sausage fingers, and a sexy little number for around the house.

We started talking, this subject has come up before. It is the subject of "what happens after the diet", honestly it is a scary place. I still know that I eat like a "fat girl", I may not eat the quantity or the types of food as I did a couple of months ago but I do feel as though I am not prepared to be off the diet. This is where counseling would be handy, or some really good long hard looks into who I am and why I do what I do to myself when it comes to foods.

At dinner, I was totally satisfied (physically) with the 6 pieces of sashimi and miso soup and glass of water. My belly was full.. the real kind of full... not the uncomfortable... lethargic... stuffed feeling that I normally feel like after a visit to the sushi house. I felt physically satisfied but I know that if I was not on my diet that I would have ate twice if not three times as much... this scares me!

Mike and I discussed what we are going to do to keep on track, to not gain weight, to not fall back into our old habits and this is where things get a little hard. We both think differently about it, he isn't so black and white and I am very black and white. I want rules, I want a script to follow, I want to be held accountable. He doesn't want to be micro managed and if he feels like a thick deep crust XL pizza with fifteen beers than he is going to eat it. I say... UH...NOOO! then I will eat it Toooo!!!

That is MY issue, I want him to be strong so that I don't have to be so strong... I think that we shouldn't eat that way ever... we can have a small pizza and 1 large beer and call that a splurge. NOW just because we think differently doesn't mean that either one of us are wrong. We work in different ways, but with this conversation.. I learned that I push and pressure others to do what I want or think that I should do and that's just not right.

This diet has made me look inside myself, deep inside myself and it is going to be hard to keep looking at the ugly truth... that I am weaker than I thought, that I have issues that need to be addressed, that I need to stop trying to micro manage everyone around me and keep looking inside and asking the hard questions. That is scary and this diet has kind of opened my eyes to me and shed a different light on who I am in my eyes.

Not just the diet, it is a combination of plenty of things but the diet along with a great boyfriend and my hypnotherapy schooling ... it all has brought a lot of things to the surface.

This relationship with food that I have is unhealthy... the relationship with food has been an umbrella from the truth of who I am and what I am afraid of and I love that I am seeing things in a new perspective.

This journey is not going to be a long journey, it is going to be a life time journey. I am at a point now that I realize that life is hard... it is supposed to be, doing the right thing is hard and is supposed to be, looking inside is even harder and it won't be easier tomorrow than it was today.. it is a life long job.

My relationship with my boyfriend has grown too.. we are treating our diet like we are treating our relationship.. we need to work on it every day.. that is how we get success... we haven't conquered everything, and we won't... it is a daily job to work at what we want and allow the other to be themselves.

I would love to hear comments about how you feel about my journey!

Day 34

so, I had some issues. I was pissed that I couldn't lose anymore weight but still had to portion food.. and for how long? Did I say 8 weeks.. 6 wks, 8 wks... didn't matter!

I am still bothered, it is harder than 500 calories because when I was doing the first phase at 500 calories a day, I had the reward of weight loss.

BUT, it has gotten easier, I am less pissed and have tried to look at it another way... not easy but I am turning around. During this phase I have not only begun setting my metabolism but have learned how to combine meals or create low calorie meals... I am still not hungry and I really enjoy the foods that I am eating. For instance listed below are the calories and contents of the salad pictured above:

This salad consists of 2.5 ozGreens, 2.5 ozwild trout, 1/2 a red bell pepper, 1\2 an avocado, 1 hard boiled egg, a little bit of seasoning, a little bit of fresh garlic and a little bit of fresh rosemary from the garden and 2 tbls. of Balsamic vinegar and a lovely glass of wine..... this meal was less than 500. Without the wine the meal was 320 calories. DEEEEE LISH!

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day 30

This phase seems to be the hardest, I liked phase one, 500 calories was much easier by far and not just because it was more disciplined but because I was able to lose wieght and that kept me motivated.... I am able to eat more calories and an assorment of other food that I couldn't in the last phase but everything about this is harder for me! I can't lose or gain more than 2 lbs, what is motivating me to be so disciplined when I cant even enjoy losing a lb... finding that this would be a good phase to probably do a support group.

day 27

Wow! Time has gotten away! I am so sorry that I haven't been keeping you posted.

So, I am at my limit of loss weight, I must sustain my weight for 6 weeks before I can go back on the diet and before I can lose anymore weight. They call this the "maintenance phase" and this is when you set your metabolism.

To date, In 27 days I have lost a total of 20 lbs. I feel wonderful and my clothes look horrible on me because they are too big but I dont care.

We are able to eat 1500-2000 calories, but of certain foods. We now can add a lot of stuff that we weren't able to eat prior to this phase and also mix our veggies.

We can have Peanut butter, cottage cheese, almonds, fatty fish such as salmon etc.,hamburgur, ketchup, spicy wings, any veggie except.. starchy ones like potatoes, corn, beets etc.

Today was our first day of being able to eat these foods and we celebrated by bringing in the new phase with 1 cup of cottage cheese at midnight. Yes, I couldn't sleep last night and thought... you know what! it is tomorrow (being midnight) so I CAN EAT A FORBIDDEN FOOD. It was wonderful!

Yesterday we precooked our food for the next day... I browned the beef and added the tomato, garlic and onion, along with seasonings while my boyfriend added the calories. We were making cabbage rolls.

We were excited to be adding all these foods and thought that this would be fun, it was fun but also stressful. Atleast the shopping part which I forgot to tell you about, before we cooked all the that wonderful delicious food we had to plan and shop for it. It took us almost two hours to figure out what we could eat, how many calories were in what foods and then debated how the heck to divide that into portions, it was stressful.We are told that this frusteration will pass and that we will feel more comfortable about the math and calculations of diet planning.
I have never HAD to think about food so much in my life, not only am I dieting at home but I am in a Nutrition class at school and feel as though all I do, read, write, and hear about is food.. the what nots and the how to eating.

My boyfriend has lost a total of 25 lbs and feels just as good as I do. So, all in all this diet THUS far is what is has promised.

Today we also had our Coctail administered, in our diet package  they included Hypnotherapy and IV treatment along with Vitamin B shots called Lipo b or something like that. The Coctail is a liquid form of vitamins and minerals to replace what is possibly lost in this diet, to replenish vitamins and minerals and give you a boost after treating your body this way.

I am really glad that we decided to pay the extra money that we had to for this diet and recieve the extra care. Losing weight is an emotional thing, gaining weight is too and being able to have the hypnosis treatments has not left our the fact that our weight isn't just food and diet issues. They treat the whole person and this has been instumental to our success.

Day 22

Yes, I am still on the diet... I was feeling under the weather for a few days and didn't feel like writing much. I had an allergy issue that turned infection and wore me out. Being sick on this diet wasn't a good thing, I couldn't drink my water which didn't do well for my weight loss either, but the fact that I was ill and only eating a limited amount of calories when my body was trying to heal itself probably prolonged the illness

 I did start taking herbal tinctures regularly and it did help and finally when we had our weigh in... the doc told me that I could have gone off the shots for a couple of days to get better by completely dosing my body with herbal goodies but by this time I was on the up swing and it didn't matter.

I have lost a total of 24 lbs by my scale and feel wonderful (now that I am not all plugged up). I am a little bummed that once I decided to embrace my weight (right before the diet) and buy some decent clothing to wear, and donate smaller clothing... that I lose the weight.... Hmmmm. Yes, all my new clothes now are a bit baggy and I will have to shop some more... not to bummed about that!